Another one

Another obessesion of mine that deserves it's own entry is death. And I dont meant this in a satanic cult kind of way. I mean it scares me and fascinates me at the same time. Hence the Death and Dying course I took in college.

My parents seem to think I'm morbid but I am truly afraid of it. I think everyone is afraid of their own deaths but its the death of others that really scares me. I don't take it well (as is to be expected) and I contstantly think of and am afraid of the people closest to me dying. Like the death clock mom and Jim found. I don't want to know when a program says my mother is going to die or when it says my brother will die because I'll believe it and be afraid of it.

I work in a place that trys to save life but hasn't found a cure yet and in this very job, my boss is at a funeral today for someone who just died Friday. This was someone I worked with but didn't know. He died of Cancer (ironically) and in life, he didn't want people to know he had it until he was given only a few days to live.

I'm rambling but what I mean is, I can talk about it and I can see it, but I can't handle it.

The Bodies museum. Now thats something that really truly fascinated me. I wasn't thinking about how the body works the whole time I was there, I was thinking about what faces use to be on those bodies, who were they in life, what did they accomplish while alive, how do thier families feel about them up on display like this, what were thier names?

I guess I'm only human and a curious one at that. Most things fly right by me and I could care less but this is something that has my attention all the time.

Obsessions....a "Me" trait

I have little obessions here and there.

Before I start work I absolutely have to check the following sites:

Pink is the New Blog
My Blog for comments
Greg's Blog
Jim's Blog
Mom's blog
Monica's Blog
Lauren's Blog
Matt's Blog
Gmail
Myspace
(Can't check Dan's at work)

and sometimes

People
CNN

I also obsess about sleep and will be very cranky if I dont get that extra 30 minutes of sleep every morning (just ask Greg).

I have to have make-up on before going out with friends but I'm not as obsessed with this as I was in high school. I would throw eyeliner on to go to the grocery store then, now I don't care about that.

I'm beginning to obesses over my face. I don't want wrinkles so I need to get stuff to prevent that. Like anti-aging lotions or something. I don't know...haven't done that yet. I'm just scared of wrinkles.

I listen to CD's I like over and over and over. Right now my favorite obessesion is Faith Hill "Fireflies." I also just adore her cause she's so cute and pretty and has a beautiful voice.

My TV obsession has been Grey's Anatomy but we stopped watching that for some reason. It's still on the top of my list.

I obesses over my nails because I always want them to look good but I don't get them done because it costs money to keep them up. I'm always looking at them though and wondering what I need to do to fix one here and there and how I need to file them down or something.

Of course I obesses over my house and weight problem and of course my husband but these are all ones I that don't change. The other, smaller, obessesions usually do change or at least they become different over time.

Just a Karri side note.

Dad....(that's all I have to say)

I love my father very much but he has been irritable lately. I told him I would call and since I'm so bad at calling people he wasn't happy when I didn't. I tried calling yesterday and he didn't answer so I left a message. Then when I called last night he answers "KARRI YOU CALLED ME!" Then he proceeds to tell me how much I call my mother but never call him. If he only knew why I don't like to call him.....no....he'd still complain.

Talked for about an hour and everything I said wasn't good enough. All those years of him telling me to increase my TSP (401K) to 15%....well...this is how the converstion went:

me: "Hey dad I have my TSP up to 15%!"
dad: "Well, you should increase it to the max"
me: "The max is 18%, this is pretty good dad."
dad: "Well, you need to increase it, thats the only way you'll have money when you retire"
me: "I have $12,000 after only 3 years here so far in there."
dad: "Hm."

WTF!!! This was how the majority of our conversations went. As if he's very bitter about something. Or maybe he was just moody yesterday. Here's another one.

me: "Hey dad I'm taking a tiling class!" (thought he'd be proud of this one)
dad: "Greg should be taking that class."
me: "Well, he signed up for it but couldn't because of school, it's fun to learn."
dad: "good."
me: "He took an electrical wiring class."
dad: "He has no business messing with wiring until he knows what he's doing. Y'all told me how he felt a shock when messing with it before. It could kill him!"
me: "Well...thats why he took this class so he knows what to do and what not to do."
dad: "That's something I wouldn't touch unless I had the knowledge. It's dangerous!"

*frustrated!*

He was sooooo pissy. Not proud of anything I told him. And he wonders why I don't call often. The only times he ever says nice things is when I'm sad about something, like when I called crying about Uncle John or crying about the cats dying. He's turning grumpy.

Like I said I love him very much but I don't know why he can't be supportive of my decisions even when I eventually do what he says (like the TSP thing).

The only fun part of the conversation was when I was talking about the Bodies museum. He seemed kinda interested and I talked for awhile about that.

I guess I'll give it another try and call him in a few weeks if we don't go down to see him soon. Maybe he'll be in a better mood then.

GRRRRR

Back in action

I need to get back into the weight loss this week before I gain any more. I was doing so well. This goes to show you that you can't stop once you've started something or else you'll be back to where you were before you started.

That being said, I did eat 2 bagels and cream cheese today and a few chocolates laying around. I am definately going to exercise after cleaning house. It's a grubby day but I've got the bike and absolutely no excuse not to do it.

This week's goals:

1. Choose better. That doesn't mean eat completely clean because that's just hard for me to do but I need to at least get back to choosing wisely.

2. Exercise 4 days this week. I'll most likely bike for 20-30 to get back into it. I have my tile class two days this week which take me till 10pm those nights so I can't make myself do too much. That class is part of the reason I stopped. It's tiring and hard to catch up on sleep after a long night like that.

3. Drink 16 oz of water a day. Haven't started yet today but will when I get home. I'm sure I'll be thirsty from exercising.

This is my start. Greg was pretty upset about the scale too so I know he's getting back into it with me. We CAN do this.

Why does it have to be so damn hard to do!?!

BTW

Georgia

We went down to George this weekend. What an event!

Started the 10+ hour trek down on Thursday evening and hit a 4 hour delay on 95. It ended up being a fatal accident that shut down all but one lane and there was really no way around it. But we were able to squeeze by and drive another 2 hours or so until we both were too tired to drive any further. We thought about stopping at a hotel and sleeping but decided to stop at a rest stop and sleep. We woke up, drove a bit more, and stopped somewhere else to sleep again. After a full day's worth of work we thought we had it down...one would sleep while the other drove and vice versa. No....this didn't happen. We were both just too tired. We finally got to our hotel around 1pm Friday. It was fun seeing Nano. I fell in love with Georgia but Greg seemed to dislike it very much because of the heat.

We drove around, ate a bunch, and swam a bit, but the two biggest events were hockey game playoffs. They have an amature team down there and they are in their final games of the season. There's nothing like seeing the home team score a tie in the final 24 seconds of a game that throws it into overtime then watching them score the winning goal. I mean the crowd was in an uproar and the guys had tears in their eyes. It really does get emotional. Dan, I know what you mean now about wanting to get into sports. It really is alot of fun. Especially when your husband and his friend decide to wear mohawks like the players did for the 2nd game of the playoffs. :)

Scratch that.

So the number on the scale has gone up but not by much. That means today starts a new day of my journey to a lower weight.

But onto other news...

Bodies:

We went to Georgia this weekend (I'll get more in this in a bit) and Greg saw a poster for this Bodies exhibit. These bodies were real. They have been preserved in a way to show the insides clearly. You went from room to room going through the skeleton, then the muscles, then the central nervous system, then it went into cancers and obesity. Even though this seems to be a gross subject, I thought it was tastefully done and they had facts about our bodies as you walk along from one room to the next. I saw parents expaining things to thier kids and teaching them as they went. This was done in China by medical students and all of the "patients" had died within the last 10 years. They obviously donated thier bodies to this or to science in general.

Seeing how things truly affect the body (such as fat deposits on an obese person or lung cancer from cigarette smoke) really makes you think twice about what you decide to put into it or do with it. I told mom that it did make me want to keep trying to lose weight. It was definately a motivation of sorts.

I will say that if you're sensitive about a certain topic it may not be for you. But its a great educational exhibit and reaches you more than a plastic skeleton or plastic organs would in a doctors office. Something like this would do very well here where I work (at NIH). I think many people here would appreciate something like this as we are all working and supporting a place filled with scientists who are helping to find cures and heal the sick.

There are a few pictures on the website. Click here
if your interested. Maybe it will come up here.

Lucky Duck!

I just had a week of eating whatever I want and not exercising and the scale still says 225. Granted, it did go up then back down once but I'm freakin lucky as shit! So, I'm back on track. I only walked about a half a mile yesterday which is nothing but at least I did something. I had a good salad today and plan on eating good for dinner. Then I might go biking later or walking. This weekend will be a test too cause we'll be driving 10 hours to Atlanta and back and hanging with Nano. I'm looking forward to it!

I was so so so so (did I say so) happy to see Jim and Dan Saturday! I love those two! We had fun and I want to do that again!

I slept a bit too much this weekend but felt like I needed it. Now onto a new week (and hopefully another lb down on the scale so I can finally hit that 10lb mark)!

Busy Busy

We went up to DC, Union Station to be exact, to meet with Greg's Aunt who was flying in for work but her plane was rerouted to Pennsylvania for some reason. I had called Dan to see if we could stop over but low and behold, it started pouring! Sorry Dan, we'll have to come up another time. You sounded excited to see us and I felt bad but we didn't have a car. Can we meet up with you and Matt sometime soon?

I started a class that Greg signed up for but couldn't go to. Its a Ceramic Tiling Workshop and I thought I'd hate it. I love it! We demolished these old cubby holes that we're going to use to put up drywall on the walls and plywood on the floor to retile. We had to take out the old plywood (with the tile attached) using a crowbar and hammer. Then we had to take out screws and the drywall on the walls. Needless to say, I came home a mess. Tonight we're probably going to delve right into the prep work. We would like to eventually tile the kitchen and bath in the middle level so I think this will really help.

I was very very excited about a program at FCPS in association with Hood College to become a teacher. It would only have required 4 days off work and two tests before I could begin teaching with the program. There is (or was) a teacher shortage in Business areas for high school students and that would have been a perfect "in" but it didn't happen. I'm too late for this school year and they are now saying criteria is changing. My whole problem with not being able to teach in Montgomery county is the time off needed to intern and student teach with no pay. I just can't do it with a mortgage. Greg keeps saying I'll figure something out but it is frustrating and brings me down when things like that happen after I was so excited about it thinking, "This is it! This is my in!"

The weight thing has been put on hold only for this week. We haven't been eating the best and the weather has been bad for biking and I have been so busy with this new class. I'm still at 227 in the morning though meaning, I need to get back on track before it increases!

Now onto another day here at the government!

See it for yourself!

Determined!

Ok, I am now going to use the weekend afternoon weigh in each week. It has stayed at 225 and I'm very happy about that. I realized that the morning weight is food build up in my system and water retention probably from too much sodium in the foods I ate the day before.

I biked for 40 minutes yesterday and did uphill and downhill stuff. My legs are still feeling it. There is a path that is measured at 2.5 miles and I went around it twice with two stops for water. We're thinking of doing the 8 mile path at some point but are still building up on the smaller path. I love the Germantown Soccerplex and rec center because there are all kinds of beautiful and open paths. Very safe with lots of people and some areas with no people. Peaceful. And, its a 5 minute drive from our house. (We haven't built up courage and energy to bike there and back yet. That would probably take us 2 hours and the traffic can suck going that way.

Grey's Anatomy. That's all I have to say. It's sooooo good! We are finally almost caught up to the end of the season and I think we might finish in time to watch the end of the season when it airs. Greg and I both tear up at times and crack up at others. I love this show.

We bought frisbees for the pups and they are sooo funny playing with them. Greg throws it up in the air and it hits the trees but Maverick stands there looking in the air for a good while when it had already hit the ground about an hour ago. And Emmi! HAHAHAHA, we have to throw it lightly and closer to us because she just won't run and chase it but she loves to play with it. Sort of like a handicap. Greg throws it right next to her on the brick patio and we watch laughing and laughing as she tries anything and everything to bite at it and flip it over. She even tries to pick it up while standing on it. She's so funny. But she has a blast. That trick is starting to get old to her though. She's running out of patience.

I can't wait to take them to Tera Alta where they can fun around and play in more open territory.

I love those little mutts.

I have a counseling appt. today to talk about possibly going back for my Masters. Haven't really decided yet but I do want to do it. I'm thinking of either going towards financial management at UMUC or Education at Johns Hopkins. Decisions Decisiona!